Anxiety had hit her badly, once again, as always. She felt her mind running into darkness, towards some strange land of confusions. She is running aimlessly and doesn’t know where to stop. Trees and bushes passed but, there was no living being around. Out of her imaginations, in reality, she was sitting quietly in the corner of the room. She felt tired without doing anything. She just wanted to hug someone and lay quietly. Alas! There was no one there who could hold her, make her believe that she is enough and tell her to try again. She fell on the bed, all curled up to herself, supporting her sinking soul. Her body shivered. Not with fear, not with sadness, not with any emotion. It was all black, all blank and the emptiness was engulfing her. Numbness took over. But the worst part was, she had no clue why all of a sudden this was happening. So much pain, out of nowhere. And just then, one of her best friends texted. “Hi.” To just a greeting, she wanted to blurt out everything. She wanted to talk but didn’t know what to say. She made herself believe that he himself must be undergoing exam stress and study pressure, so she must not add to his tension. “Hey. How are you?” She replied with a strange hope that he would say he wasn’t doing well. She wished that he would start telling his problems so that she could also reciprocate. But prayers sometimes take a little while to be granted. “After many months, today was spent as a great day. All of my cousins came home. We played games, ate and danced. It was a great day and I’m so happy.”, came the reply. “Wow man! My day was good too.”, she again started her favourite routine of faking. She let no word slip her mouth, for her friend was happy after a long time. And her mood wasn’t capable enough to overpower the love she had for friends. Laughing on screen, she quietly ordered her mind to start running again, towards the black home, towards the undefined emptiness, to finally perish someday. It wasn’t that she liked running back to her numb side, it was the fact that now she felt more homely in dark than the light.